The attacking of Rachel Kolb

I'm not surprise but there are some people who will attack a deaf person for his or her communication preference or approach such as depending on lip-reading to communicate. Rachel Kolb wrote a well written piece in the Stanford Magazine back in March about her life growing up as a deaf person who learned to lip-read to get by.

Lipreading, on which I rely for most social interaction, is an inherently tenuous mode of communication. It's essentially a skill of trying to grasp with one sense the information that was intended for another. When I watch people's lips, I am trying to learn something about sound when the eyes were not meant to hear.

Lip-reading is a skill that not all deaf or hard of hearing people can master. Some do have that skill born out of necessity in the effort to communicate with hearing people.  She has a choice in choosing her mode of communication, nowadays.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I lipread at all. I fear that I am betraying myself by accepting the conventions of the hearing world. I fear that I lack balance—that I am abandoning the communication tactics that work for me, in order to throw myself headlong at a system that does not care about my needs. When I attempt to function like a hearing person, am I not sacrificing my integrity to a game that I lack the tools to tackle, a game that in the end makes me look slow or stupid?

Deaf people—meaning Deaf people who live solely in the Deaf community, and hold on to an inherent pride in their Deafness—often speak of communicating as they please and letting the hearing world "deal with it." They believe in the beauty and, dare I say it, the superiority of sign language. Spoken language, compared with the visual nuances of signing, might as well be caveman guttural grunts.

When I lipread, I leave the clarity of sign language behind. I attempt to communicate with hearing people on their terms, with no expectation that they will return the favor. The standards I am striving for seem ridiculous: I am trying singlehandedly to cross the chasm of disability. Might not my stubbornness be of more harm than good?

I struggle with this. Some days I wonder what it would be like if I refused to speak. I could roll out of bed one morning, decide to take control of my communication on my terms, and make everyone write it down or sign, as other Deaf people do. Some days I resent myself. I wonder if I am weak, ashamed or overly anxious to please.

Although those comments above were not really the reason why some deaf people, most likely culturally deaf, attacked her for that but about how Rachel felt validated and vindicated on being able to use her lip-reading skill at age 12 :

I am 12 and at a summer camp for the deaf. The entire group has just gone whitewater rafting and is stopping to get ice cream. My peers line up by the counter, signing to each other about the flavors they want. I smile and join, finding the conversation perfectly normal. But when the clerk speaks to us, the other kids freeze like mice after the shadow of a hawk has swooped over the grass.  

With a jolt, I realize that they have no means with which to understand this hearing woman. Most do not speak, go to deaf schools, have never had reason to learn to lipread. Their barrier is the same as mine, but completely—instead of partially—insurmountable.  

"What did you say?" I ask the store attendant, looking her in the eye. My voice feels thick from disuse, but still I am aware of its clarity. The other kids stare at me, their hands slack.  

"I said, would you like a free sample?" the attendant says. I understand her and sign the message to the others. They nod, and sign which flavors they want to taste. I repeat, speaking, to the attendant.  

After the ordering, when I finally sit down, my own ice cream in hand, I feel strangely lightheaded. This—being able to endow spoken words with meaning, rather than having them translated by somebody else—is new for me. Because I have so often felt powerless, I have never realized the power that I possess.

It took awhile until the attacks came seen in the comments after many positive comments were made seeing her as a role model in the deaf community.  Seriously, she is seen as a role model in the deaf community whether you like it or not. Others saw her comments as something disruptive and negative in the culturally deaf community. As always, perspectives vary.

Michelle L. Westfall:

Lastly, it's painfully clear to me that the writer has issues with her Deaf identity and is ashamed of being Deaf. How sad. Even worse...it's clear that the writer has been trained by the hearing society that she owes them problem-free communication, and that it's her responsibility to ensure that they never feel uncomfortable and her task to make sure that they never misunderstand her. Wrong on all counts. Communication is TWO-WAY PROCESS and does not lie with *one* person. Dump your misguided guilt, Rachel. You owe them nothing.

Michelle's comment was a bit misapplied if not done in a derogatory way in Rachel's case.  Rachel didn't feel that she owed the hearing society problem-free communication but rather that she attempted to cross the chasm of her own disability by single-handedly reaching out first by speaking and using her lip-reading skill to communicate. There is a difference. Rachel is attempting to enlighten people about her struggles, her fears and hopes. She does explore about herself why she continues to lipread rather than ensuring that she gets the full communication access even though she knows sign language. No use in dumping on Rachel about some supposedly guilt complex of hers.


Meme H. Kerr:

Now, Kolb's comment about discovering the power after the ice cream shop incident, she's basically taking the power away from the other Deaf kids. I've found their reaction hard to believe because we're so used to hearing people talking to us. Well, if that's really the case, then blame on their teachers or parents for not teaching them to find a way to communicate, rather than to rely on someone else to facilitate the communication. Spending time trying to figure what people are saying is a total waste of time. Getting out pen and paper is relatively a simple task. Apparently, many people are either illiterate or lazy. Kolb, you're doing more harm than good, really. You're only perpetuating dysfunctional & paternalistic thinking in hearing people.

I don't see how that day Rachel took "the power away from other Deaf kids" that day. It just happened that day when she was 12 years old. Not much to read into that. Kids were unable to understand what a hearing attendant was saying and so she was able to help them out. The deaf kids were happy to get their ice cream in short order. Kerr is making a mountain out of molehill. Kolb was simply describing her experience when she was 12 years old at a summer camp for deaf kids. As for lip-reading it might be a waste of time for you to figure out what people are saying but not so for others who may have that skill. Personally, it'd be a waste of my time myself to try and lip-read since I communicate much more effectively with my hearing aid on. 

I saw no paternalistic thinking in what Kolb was expressing. She already knows sign language and happens to be a good lip-reader. No big mystery.


John Pirone:

I believe that the statement. "I have never realized the power that I possess.." defeats what you are trying to tell us.  You explain in detail how frustrating you are with the ineffectiveness of lipreading yet now you are grateful for having that "skill" just because you feel the power of using it.

Rachel's article about her struggles growing up as a profoundly deaf person was not "defeated" when she explained on how she felt for the first time that her lip-reading skill were validated that day at age 12 yeas old. She was conveying a realization at the time how she felt vindicated when she discovered she could help others with her lip-reading skill. Nothing more to read between the lines or form conspiracy theories. She simply expressed what she felt that day. Instead, John gets bent out of shape about Kolb's story when she was 12 years old and what she felt at that time.  Just as well, there is nothing wrong with feeling grateful for having a particular communication skill and be able to use that.  Not just a "skill" but a good skill at that.